A 20-Something’s Viewpoint On Marriage, Children and Adoption!

A 20-Something’s Viewpoint On Marriage, Children and Adoption!

Every time we login to our social media accounts, someone gets married! Agree much? This has been happening to us a lot these days; the entire world seems to be going on a marriage spree, leaving each one of us wondering about what we are doing with our life! And then there’s me! Although I haven’t got plans of getting hitched anytime soon, it is not like I do not have a viewpoint on the issue. I certainly have thought about marriage and speculated how things should turn out to be!

We had an interesting discussion today about marriage and babies. Is marriage just a function to facilitate reproduction? (The same question was raised) While people spoke about companionship and so on, I couldn’t help but get reminded of people who told me to have kids by 28. The reason? The child can complete education by the time we retire. While this seems to be sensible, it is not always feasible. While people delay marriage wanting to “settle”, I don’t think a majority of my generation can talk to the opposite sex without the concept of arranged marriage.

If you are an exception to this, then good for you! However, the fact remains that while we talk, flirt and then some more, there is but a fraction of the population who end up with love marriages. Whether these marriages are successful or not is a different story! And then there’s the topic of babies! Even the ones who dread dirty things, changing nappies and what not succumb to the affection. Blood is indeed thicker than water. I’ve seen many examples in real life wherein people were different before having a baby and dutiful parents later.

Another person spoke about loss of intimacy after having a baby. While this is widely true, it is not entirely just because they have the baby. Let’s leave this at that. Marriage is tricky to most of us mainly because we haven’t lived with a stranger of the opposite sex. This person is not going to be like a roommate. (I think we don’t have roommates of different sexes so far here. Correct me if I am wrong). Marriage is and will continue to be a puzzle and having children will give people many nightmares for years to come.

Adoption

A friend of mine said he’d rather adopt than wanting to have to force his wife to have a baby. I was impressed by his forward thinking. While this is easier said than done, I don’t see any wrong in this if both the partners are okay with it. I’d go one step further and take opinions of both sets of parents while knowing that one would have to endure the judgment of the public who clearly are not stakeholders in this decision. They will keep passing opinions because it is free and easy.

Unless you are proved infertile, it is going to be difficult convincing your parents and even yourselves about adopting children. Let’s face it. My great grandparents’ generation raised half a dozen kids with easy while people of my generation struggle more with just one kid. Adoption, in my opinion, is something pure and noble. I personally would appreciate anyone who adopts a child. Someone has said that it gives all the pros of having a kid without losing shape among other cons, which is partly true.

However, adoption is seen as something queer even in a country with several orphanages and population explosion. While adoption has its pros and cons, I see it as something that links the people who need kids and the kids who need parents. I haven’t heard of a better win-win situation so far. While you may or may not adopt, I’d be happy if you do not look down upon those who adopt kids. Not being able to have kids is not a sin. Not raising them properly is the sin.

(This article has been published in association with A voice for the everyman by Q)

Q is a wannabe writer whose biggest passion is writing. (Not that he's any good at it). Still in the early stages, open to criticism and in the process of penning novels and small snippets on everyday things that affect him. Also the author of https://www.facebook.com/AVoiceForTheEveryman/

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5 Comments

  • Chaicy Style A Pastiche January 12, 2017 01.59 pm

    I like your viewpoints on marriage and children, and agree on the fact that the mindset of having a child has changed even at 28. I do see that adoption is a good way forward, and there still is a stigma surrounding it, I wish it would change. Yet again, I do agree to what you said, not raising a child properly can count be counted as a failure.

    xoxo- Chaicy
    Style.. A Pastiche!

    Reply 
    • Pooja Kshirsagar January 20, 2017 06.30 pm

      Thanks for reading the article. Glad you liked it!

      Reply 
    • Q January 22, 2017 02.00 pm

      Thank you for the kind words

      Reply 
  • sheetal January 15, 2017 06.21 pm

    I truly loved this article. Each and every line is true and seems fit to the today’s world.

    Reply 
    • Pooja Kshirsagar January 20, 2017 06.30 pm

      Thanks Sheetal!

      Reply 

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